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Table of Contents
Title Page
Warning! Alert! Warning!
Author's Note
1
CHAPTER 1: LITTLE BROWN FUCKING MACHINES
Introduction 1
2
3
4
Night Life 5
Security 5
Scenery 5
Weather 5
2
CHAPTER 2: BUTTERFLY!
(Glossary)
American Tourist 7
Feminist 13
Philippines 6
Angeles City 8
Filipina 6
Polygamy 28
Bar Fine 20
21
Filipino Time 29
Prostitute 17
Bar 10
Fired Out 26
Province 28
Bar Girl 11
12
13
Hustler 13
She's Absent 26
Blow Job Alley (Blow Road) 17
Jeepney 9
Short Time 16
Bold Movie 14
Kiss Mark 18
Sneak Out 24
25
Boom Boom 17
Ladies Drink 20
Stay In 27
Butterfly 19
LBFM 10
Steady Bar Fine 22
Buy One, Take One 28
Mamasan/Papasan 19
Stop Duty 26
Cherry 14
Menustration 26
27
Tagalog 6
Cherry Ass! 15
Money Back 22
23
T-Bird 28
Cherry Breaker 15
Money Exchange Booth 9
Three Hole 28
Closing Time 29
Olongapo 8
Tipping 23
24
CR 28
One Girl, One Bar, One Night 18
Tric 9
Drive In Hotels 16
Peso 6
TV 14
Ermita 7
3
CHAPTER 3: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME? 30
43,000 Women 30
31
32
Drive The Right Car And You'll Get Laid 39
Prostitution In The United States 32
33
In The Philippines, Just Show Up 39
40
U.S. Prostitution Verses Filipina Prostitutes 33
34
35
Girls Who Use Men To Get A Green Card 40
41
Paying For Sex... And Not Getting It! 36
37
Thai Hookers And Filipina Bar Girls 41
42
Finding A Nice Girl In A Bar, Is That Possible? 37
Is She A Virgin Or A Hooker? 43
44
45
Are you Getting Laid Every Night? 37
38
The exception to the Rule 45
46
Picking Up Girls In The States 38
What Do You Think Of Me? 46
4
CHAPTER 4 MANILA: THE ARMPIT OF THE ORIENT 47
Entrance/ Passport/ Visa 47
48
Airlines 48
Manila To Bangkok 48
49
Manila Airport 49
Money 50
ATM/ Credit Cards 51
Hotels In Manila 51
Nightlife In Manila 52
53
Manila Shopping / Sightseeing 53
Restaurants 53
Security In Manila 54
How To Avoid Getting Robbed 54
55
56
The Hotel Safe Deposit Box 56
Don't Flaunt Your Money 56
57
Drugging Your Drink 57
Conclusion 58
5
CHAPTER 5 TRAVELS TO ANGELES CITY 59
Getting To Angeles From Manila 59
Angeles Is A Shit Hole 59
61
Map Of Angeles City 60
Money Exchange 61
62
Loss Of Theft 62
63
Transportation 63
64
65
Discrimination 65
Shopping And Bargaining 65
66
Holidays 66
Best Time To Come 66
Hotels 67
68
69
70
Short Time Hotels 70
71
Restaurants 71
72
73
74
75
What To Wear 75
Money To Bring 75
76
Sightseeing 76
Security 76
77
78
Hustlers On The Street 78
Flower Girls, Photographers and Candy Girls 78
79
Beggars 79
Conclusion 80
6
CHAPTER 6 ANGELES CITY: NIGHT LIFE 81
Overview 81
Bar Scene In Angeles 81
82
83
84
The Bar Is Your Friend 84
85
Picking Up Street Girls 85
Main Bars In Angeles 86
87
88
Blow Job Bars 88
89
Men Who Dress As Women 89
90
Best Bars 91
My Favorite Bars 91
The Secret Of The Filipina Bar Girl 92
93
94
Dancers And Waitresses 95
Choosing The Right Women 95
Do You Have A Baby? 96
97
Scars, Rash's And Tattoos 97
Come Inside, Sir! 97
98
Drinks Prices 98
No Cover Charge 99
Ladies Drinks 99
100
Ring The Bell! 100
101
The Bar Fine 101
102
Why Didn't You Ask Me? 102
It's Up To You 103
Assumption Is The Mother Of All Fuck Ups 103
I'll Be Back 103
104
Four Most Important Questions To Ask A Bar Girl 103A
Bar Fining Two Girls 104
105
I Don't Want To Go With You 105
106
Getting Rid Of The Girl You Don't Want 106
Matchmaker 107
How Much Will It Cost To Get Laid 107
108
Raise The Prices 108
Pay The Bar Fine 108
109
Tipping The Girl 109
Sir, Would You Like To Buy Her A Ladies Drink? 110
111
Money Down Before Panties Down 111
112
Getting It For Free 112
113
Hard Core Hookers 113
Are You A Butterfly? 113
114
Playing The Game 114
115
116
I'm Only Joking 116
117
Buy Her A Teddy Bear 117
118
Does She Or Doesn't She? 118
Cherry Girls 119
120
Why Are You Working The Bar? 120
121
Dancers Wanted/High Salary 121
122
Mirror Mirror, On The Wall 122
123
Do You Work The Dayshift Or Nightshift? 123
What You See.. 123
124
How Old Are You? 124
125
Sex Slavery 125
126
127
My Province IS Samar 128
One Big Happy Family 128
129
Sending Money Home To Mama And Papa 130
I Love To Work In The Bar 130
131
Guys Who Send Girls Money 130A
I Have Menustration 131
Oh, You Have a Cellular Phone 131
The Steady Bar Fine 131
132
Guys Who Send Money Abroad 132
How Much To Send? 132
133
Can You Trust Her When You Leave The Country? 133
Protecting Your Girl 133
Selecting The Right Bar Girl For Marriage 134
Conclusion 134
7
CHAPTER 7 YOU'RE THE BOSS (How To Handle The Bar Girls) 135
Dealing With Girls Who Hustle Customers 135
"I'm Sick" 135
"I'm Going To Manila" 135
The List Of Excuses 135
136
Now It's Your Turn For Excuses 136
137
How To Spot The Bad Girls 137
138
139
140
8
CHAPTER 8 SEE HOW YOU ARE! (Funny Phrases) 141
"Tonight We Get Married; Tomorrow Divorce!" 141
"I'm Not Jealous!" 141
"Don't Talk To Me, Talk To My Lawyer!" 142
"I'm Shy!" 142
"Fuck You!" 142
"Money Down Before Panties Down!" 142
"I Give Back To Back, You Never Come Back, No Money Back!" 142
"Next Time" 143
"Go 'Sal-Sal' Yourself" (Or "Go Blow Job Yourself") 143
"Hey! What Do You Think Of Me!" 143
GESTURES AND BODY LANGUAGE 143
144
145
9
CHAPTER 9 YOU'RE SO MALIBOG (Tagalog Words) 146
147
10
CHAPTER 10 WHY NOT? MUSIC BOX (Funny Conversations With Bar Girls) 148
149
11
CHAPTER 11 I'm A Cherry Girl!
Cherry Girls Of Angeles City 150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
So Is She Really A Virgin? 170
171
Who's The Liar And Who's Telling The Truth? 171
172
How Much For A Cherry? 173
So If She's Not A Cherry 173
174
Conclusion 174
12
CHAPTER 12 SUBIC OR BUST! 175
Getting There 175
Where's There? 175
Map Of Subic 175A
What To Bring 176
Money Exchange 176
Hotels 176
177
178
Restaurants 178
Transportation 179
Security 179
180
Beggars And Hustlers 180
181
Renting A Boat 181
Night Life 181
List Of Bars 182
Three Best Bars In Town 182
183
I'll Be Back! 183
184
Red Flag! 184
Daytime 184
185
Conclusion 185
13
CHAPTER 13 THE ISLAND OF LOVE (CEBU) 186
Getting There 186
Hotels 186
187
Money Exchange 187
188
Transportation 188
Restaurants 188
Security 189
Night Life 189
190
Brothels 190
Choosing Your Girl 190
191
Wife Hunting 191
Hiring A Guide 191
192
14
CHAPTER 14 TRAVEL TIPS 193
If You Decide To Move There 193
Weather 193
Hot You/Cold To Her 193
Sleep With Your Clothes On! 193
Mud And Dust 194
Security 194
Leave Your Wedding Ring At Home 194
What You Should Not Bring 194
195
Electricity 195
Sex Aids 195
Dealing With Jet Lag 195
The Airport 196
Language Barriers 196
197
Speak Softly And Carry A Big Smile 197
Getting Short Changed 197
198
So What! 198
Flashlights 198
Drug Traffickers Will Be Put To Death 198
Pornography Is Illegal 198
199
Photography 199
The Right Attitude 199
Appendix 199A
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© 2001 DHP Corporation, All rights reserved.
Updated 10/09/2008
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