Chapter 2
Welcome to Bang Cock!
To get to Patpong, say from the Nana hotel, it's best you take a meter taxi. The fare by meter will be around 65 baht (about $1.50). It's about a 15-20 minute ride, depending on traffic. Try to get there right after dinner (8 p.m. is a great time). Speaking of which, right across the street from the entrance to Patpong is McDonald's, Pizza Hut, and Sizzler which has good food and a truly excellent salad bar. To get back to your hotel from Patpong, it's best you leave the strip and walk about two minutes down the road as the taxi drivers right outside the strip will not turn on the meter and charge triple fare. Don't ever take a taxi that refuses to use the meter, unless you don't mind paying triple the normal taxi fare.

I should mention that although Patpong is a safe place to visit, there is a slight chance of getting overcharged for drinks. I recall my first time in Patpong. I went to a bar called Funny Girls (no longer in business, thank god) which charged me 500 baht ($12.50) for a coke. Unfortunately, I didn't realize I could have walked over to the Tourist Police booth, right at the front entrance to Patpong and had the Tourist Police escort me back into the bar to get my money back. The moral of the story is if you feel you got overcharged or ripped off, pay the bill, insist on a receipt, and then go over to the Tourist Police to help you get a refund. They are thereto protect the tourists; that's their job and they do it well.
Actually, Patpong can be a fun place to go if you're there with friends. I recall my partner, Eric Dexter, going there for his first time in 1994; he went to one of the upstairs bars where they have all the kinky shows. Some girl was sticking banana's in her pussy and shooting them into the audience. Guess where one banana landed. Right in Eric's face! Where else but in Thailand? Once you've had your share of the hustle and bustle of Patpong, it's time to move on to a better place. (Be sure to check out the night bizarre even if you don't want to go in any of the bars. It's really good).
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