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Chapter 2
Welcome to Bang Cock!

where the Emerald Buddha is. (Note: develop your photos at the Kodak Express inside the parking lot at the Ambassador hotel. They do excellent work).

Another fun place is the Oriental hotel. In the back of the hotel you can rent a private boat for about 300 baht ($7.50) that will take you around the Chao Phraya river for an hour (the hotel is situated right on the river). That's a fun trip and there are some interesting sites. You might want to bring some cotton or wax for your ears. The boats are very noisy.

Now check this out. In the back of the parking lot of the Hilton hotel, you can see the Dildo Farm. Here you will find a wide selection of hand carved dildos (made out of wood) painted in a variety of colors and adorned with colorful scarf's. The dildos (yes, we are talking penis here) are dedicated to the goddess of fertility and are symbolic of good luck (in bed?) and success (in finding a horny mate?). They range in size from a few inches to over ten feet tall (who's the lucky girl that gets to sit on that one?). A must see in Bangkok. Right at the Hilton hotel, of all places.

On the more adventurous side, one thing you could do is just step outside your hotel early morning and hop on any bus. Or take the new tramway. After an hour or so of cruising around the city, you'll get a good idea of what the place looks like. Surely you will want to do this in the mid or late morning when traffic is light. Be sure you take a hotel card with you so you can show it to any taxi driver to get you back to your hotel.

EMERGENCY

Hopefully, you won't have any major problems during your travels. However, with Murphy's law in effect, anything and everything can go wrong.

If you get sick, consult the front desk at your hotel. They can recommend a doctor or hospital if necessary. Believe it or not, Bangkok offers five star medical plan (only in Thailand!). Consult your hotel for details.

The Grand Palace in Bangkok is a must see. Be sure to wear long pants, as shorts are not allowed. Bring your camera and/or camcorder. Magnificent scenery!