Our Torrid, Thailand-Oriented Tour Guide interviews Himself!

ASIAN HOTTIES: I'd like to welcome travel writer Mac Horn, who is here with us today. Mac, i understand you have been living in South Pattaya Beach for the past three years. For our readers who don't know, that's a beach resort south of Bangkok, Thailand. Mac, what's the lastest in the way of nightlife and chasing skirt in Pattaya?

MAC: Right now there are price wars in the Go GO bars along Walking Street. No doubt the best deal in town is the brand new bar, Electric Blue. They presently have a happy hour (7:00 to 8:30 p.m., nightly) in which local spirits are, get this, 10 baht each. At an exchange rate of 42 baht per US dollar, that comes down to less than twenty-five cents per drink. Such a deal!

Electric Blue is one of the few bars that features full nudity. Actually, the girls who dance on stage as you enter are usually clad in bikinis, some of the girls flashing their tits here and there and a few dropping their panties as well. But the real action is upstairs, where they all dance totally nude. There are actually two stages upstairs. The circular stage has about five girls dancing naked, and the stage in the corner usually has two or three fully naked dancers.

AH: What is the quality of women there?

MAC: typical of any go-go bar, you have your dogs, several average run of the mill hookers, and on occasion a few babes that will make you cum in your pants just by looking at them. Of course, all this can change overnight since so many of the girls come and go.

AH: What do you mean?

MAC: Most girls who work the go-go bars in Pattaya are originally from the Northeast (Issan), the poorest region of Thailand. They come to wrok the flesh trade to make some quick money and then, before long, bum out or fall in love with a foreigner, never to be seen again. I'd say the average life span of a go-go bar girl's career is tow to three months. Of course, there are those that last much longer and some who decide a week of work is enough.

AH: So then, there must be a tremendous turnover of bargirls.
MAC: Absolutely. Of course this has its advantages and disadvantages. The biggest advantage is if you live in Pattaya, you always seem to have a pretty fresh supply of new women to bang. The disadvantage is if you fall in love while on vacation, she probably won't be around when you return on your following trip.

AH: What are the current prices for getting laid with a go go dancer in Pattaya?

MAC: This is an important subject, namely the cost of sex. At present, most of the ladies drinks run about 95 baht, $2.20. The bar fine is between 500-600 baht, $12-14, depending on the exchange rate. Usually, the waitresses, door girls and some of the hotter dancers usually go for 500 baht.

AH: So, is that all you pay for sex?

MAC: Oh no. The ladies drinks and bar fine are kind of like the introduction fees you pay to the bar, not to the girl. In other words, you buy a ladies drink to get the dancer to sit with you at your table. The bar fine allows her to stop dancing, change into her street clothes and then go with you to your hotel. At that point, she will enter your hotel room, shower and let you fuck her. After sex, you must tip her. How much you tip will depend on two factors, namely how greedy she is and how well you know how to bargain.

AH: What prices are we talking?
MAC: If you bargain and the girl is not so greedy, you can easily get her for a few hours or even overnight for 1,000 baht (about $25). If she's a real pro and you don't have a clue about what you're doing, you may end up paying double or more. Each girl has her own set fee and that always changes from customer to customer. Usually the price varies based on the guy's ability to bargain with the girl.

AH: So, how do you bargain?

MAC: When a girl ask for, say, 2,000 baht for an hour of sex, you say, "Oh, I only pay 1,000 for short time. If you want 2,000, you sleep with me and tomorrow we fuck two more times." Most likely the girl will say, "Okay, you give me 1,500, I go now." You then hand her 1,000 and say, "If you want another 500, you must spend the night." The girl then says something like, "Okay, I take 1,000 baht, but give me another 200 for taxi to go home." You then pull out 20 baht and say, "Motorbikeis only 20 baht, or would you prefer to take the blue baht bus, which is only five baht?" Usually she will smile and be on her merry way.

AH: SO, it's all done by haggling the price.
MAC: Yes, exactly. And you do so in a very friendly and calm manner, always with a smile. The more you smile, the more you appear in control and the fewer problems you will have.

AH: What type of problems?

MAC: Well, nothing serious, but if you do things in a way that upsets a girl, she may not go with you a second time. And if she was a great lay, and you want her again, you don't want to miss out.

AH: But why wouldn't you be able to get her a second time? Don't all the girls have to go with the customers, like it or not?

MAC: Of course not! Who told you that nonsense/ Listen, the girls are perfectly free to go with whomever they want and refuse whomever they want. They are also free to decide the price for sex. So, if a bar girl likes a guy, she will probably go with him a second or even a third time and spend the entire night and the following day with him. If she finds another guy obnoxious and undesirable, well, she may not go with him at all or may refuse to go with him a second time. Believe me, these girls are well in control when it comes to deciding whom they sleep with. And sometimes that means telling a guy, usually in a very polite way, to fuck off.

AH: But don't the bar girls sleep with anyone who's willing to pay?

MAC: Some do,but many don't. For sure, the prime motivation is money, but many of the bar girls are quite selective and will refuse a customer if she, for her own reasons, doesn't care to sleep with him. In a case like that, the only way to convince her to go is offer her more money. But even then, she may still refuse.

AH: So, the bar girls are really free to choose their own clients.

MAC: Absolutely. Whatever you've heard about that Thai hookers being sex slaves and forced to go with foreigners is total bullshit. As a matter of fact, although it's somewhat rare, I myself have had bar girls say no. So, any preconceived notion you may have of these girls being forced or coerced to go is simply a myth. They come and go as they please.

AH: Let's get back to the cost of sex. Clarify what type of tip you're supposed to give a Pattaya go-go girl.

MAC: 1,000 baht is the going rate for short time, although some of the more greedy ones will try to weasel another 500 to 1,000 more out of the customer if she can get away with it. After sex, she will make up an excuse, like she has to meet her room mate who doesn't have a key to the apartmentor the more comical lie, "Mama's sick. I go take care." Usually such excuses translate to mean, "My Thai boyfriend is waiting up for me tonight, so thanks for the great fuck. Now please give me my tip."

AH: Do you mean that the bar girls also have Thai boyfriends?

MAC: Yes, about 50 percent do. It's to be expected. After all, a woman seeking love and affection from a man probably won't find it from a foreigner who is here today and then disappears the next week as he takes off to return home. Furthermore, any woman interested in a serious relationship will want to be able to communicate with her lover. If you can't say things like, "I love you" or I care about you" and so forth in Thai, she will seek out someone who can. And that usually means a Thai man.

AH: So then it's rather hopeless finding true love in Thailand?

MAC: Not at all. You just modify things a bit by falling in love nightly eaech time with a different girl. Why tie yourself down to one woman when you can have your own harem of Thai babes?
AH: Well, I would imagine most guys would want a relationship with a single woman.

MAC: That's the American way, but that's not the style in Pattaya. In Pattaya, you bang a babe, pay her, then move on to the next girl. That isn the Pattaya way. You see, in the states, its so damn difficult to find someone whom you really like, and when you do, you're scared to let her go for fear of being alone again. But in places like Pattaya, where you have over 4,000 bar girls who will drop their panties at the sight of 1,000 baht note, there's simply no need to be tied down. In fact, it's downright crazy to be with just one girl.

AH: What about the guys who brings his wife or girlfriend with him to Pattaya?

MAC: That's like bringing sand to the beach or a peanut butter sandwich to a buffet. There are so many girls here and sex is so incredibly easy to come by, so it just doesn't make any sense to be tied down or to bring a girl with you. Like I said, when you have over 4,000 bar babes who will spread their legs wide open for a mere $20 to $25, why in the hell would you want to be tied down to one? Take one girl for the night, then move on to the next. And as you do so, party your brains out. That's what life in Pattaya is all about.

AH: Mac, we're running of time. We'd like to thank you for joining us and if anyone wants more information on sex travel to the

Orient, see Mac's web site, www.dexterhorn.