Inside the White House A Go Go, a very friendly waitress escorted me towards the back corner of the bar. Rather than follow her, I diverted from her path and headed towards the center of the stage, where I would get the best view of the all the lustful girls dancing. As I sat down and gazed upward on stage, I counted eight girls who were dancing erotically to the pounding music. I tried to get an exact count of the rest of dancers who were off stage, waiting their set to dance. I only spotted four dancers sitting in the back, so I figured the rest, probably another eight to ten dancers, were either in the dressing room or out getting a quick bite to eat. Sure enough, after about ten minutes, a new group of dancers came out of nowhere, replacing the current group on stage. The new group all had bikini bottoms on (some of which eventually came off) and within a few seconds, four of the eight were already pulling their skimpy tops off. Wow! I was glad I had hung out long enough to scoop out the second set of dancers, because this one girl who had made her way up on stage was hot! In fact, one glance at this babe and I knew I was in love. Okay, so I was "in lust!"

Girl hunting tip: the number of girls who appear on stage represents at best only half of the total number of erotic dancers. Usually there are two sets of dancers, each rotating sets roughly every fifteen minutes or so. With this in mind, I suggest you hang out at any given bar long enough to view both sets of dancers. Otherwise, you may have missed your dream girl as you move onto another bar and she, coming out of the dressing room, makes her way onto the stage.

As I drooled over this one dancer, I knew it was time to make my move. I immediately called over one of the waitresses and pointing to the dancer I liked, told her I'd like to buy her a drink. The waitress then went over to the dancer, informing her of my request. Note: when you buy a bar girl a drink, it's called a "lady's drink", which will run you roughly $2 to $3, depending on the bar. The dancers get about a 40% commission on each drink served to them.

After a few moments, the dancer I bought a drink for came over to sit by me, topless, I might add. Ah, Bangkok, what a place! As the dancer made her way over to me, she spoke in English, "My name Noi. What your name?" As Noi sat next to me, I introduced myself and she then asked, "Where you come from?" I told her, "I'm from America. Where are you from?" She told me, "Thailand," but I then asked, "No, I mean where were you born?" She told me she was from up north, Chiang Mai. With a smile, Noi then lifted her coke towards my drink, and spoke in Thai saying, "Choke dee", meaning she had wished me good luck.

As we continued our small talk, I noticed Noi had incredibly seductive eyes - not to mention her near perfect tits - and if I was not careful, I could see myself easily falling in love with this girl. Luckily, my friends had already warned me to never fall in love with a Thai bar girl. They told me the rule in Bangkok is you screw only one girl per night, avoiding long-term relationships with any of the bar girls. Getting emotionally attached to a bar girl is something you want to avoid at all costs. Why? Because no matter how well she treats you and how much she appears to be in love with you, when you leave the country she will break your heart by continuing to work the bar and sleeping with customers behind your back. Even if she does quit the bar, she will continue to pull tricks (i.e., sleep with customers). There is virtually nothing you can do to stop her (except marry her and take her out of the country. Only then do you stand a remote chance of her remaining faithful to only you). As the saying goes, "You can take the girl out of the bar, but you cannot take the bar out of the girl. . . once a hooker, always a hooker." (A cardinal rule is you never support a bar girl once you leave the country; she will not use the money you send to go to school, but only use it to give to parents and/or her Thai boyfriend who will gamble it all away).

Just after a few minutes with Noi, I knew she was the girl I was looking for. (When she agreed she would let me cum in her mouth, I figured she had passed the interview). I then asked Noi in my broken Thai, "Pay bar tow lai?" That translates to mean, "How much is the bar fine?" Noi told me the bar fine was 500 baht or about $12. For those of you who have never been to a Go Go bar in Thailand, the bar fine is a fee you must pay to the bar should you choose to take one of the dancers (or waitresses) back to your hotel with you. It is not the price for sex, but simply a penalty fee, if you will, for pulling the girl out of the bar during her working hours. When it comes to sex, you will pay the girl directly in the privacy of your hotel room. The tipping price for sex varies greatly, between $25 to $50, depending on how greedy the girl is and how much she thinks she can weasel out of you. The way these girls suck dick, in my view, they can weasel all they want!). Most of the Go Go bars in Bangkok, including Patpong, Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy and the new Clinton Plaza charge an average of 500 baht for the bar fine. The bar fine is slightly cheaper at the outdoor beer bars in Bangkok. The bar fine is the price you pay in advance to the bar. Consider it an introduction fee for being in the wonderful position of being able to select from the wide variety of bar girls who perform nightly.

After I asked Noi if she would go with me, she then asked how much of a tip I would be willing to give her. Most Go Go bar girls in Bangkok ask between 1,000 baht and 2,000 baht, $37 to $50, as a tip. That price may or may not get you the girl for the entire night (called "long time"); the more professional bar girls will give an excuse and leave immediately after you've had sex (called "short time"). Between the bar fine and tip to the girl, figure it will cost you roughly about $50 to $65 to get laid with a beautiful Bangkok bar girl. Surprised at that price? Bangkok is not exactly expensive, but it is also not so cheap. (If you go outside of Bangkok, for example, to the beach resort of Pattaya, the prices drop significantly. There you can find girls who you can sleep with for as little as $15 to $25. That subject is covered exhaustively in my book, "A Gentleman's Guide: Thailand 2000").

Back in my hotel room, Noi cuddled next to me and as she pressed her naked body next to mine, I recalled all the frustrating times I had spent chasing women in the United States. To be honest, most of my life I spent jerking off to porno's and dreams that would never seem to come true. At one point I even thought perhaps there was something wrong with me. How wrong I was! Now that I was out of the United States and in the Orient, I saw the problem had nothing to do with me; rather the problem was the type of women I was wasting my time with. You see, in Bangkok the tables were turned and there I had an endless selection of literally thousands of willing babes to choose from, all of who were more than anxious to meet the needs of a humble guy like myself If only I had learned of travel to Bangkok sooner in life. Hopefully, to those of you reading this, you will discover what I have found, what can only be described as a sexual paradise on earth. Bangkok, here we come!