Such an experience of hopping around at the beers bars in Thailand is mind boggling to say the least. Where did all these thousands of incredibly friendly girls come from anyway and why is it they are all treating you like you were a god come down from heaven? The answer is simple: you are the rich foreigner, a world-class traveler whom the Thai women find nothing less than fascinating and enchanting. While back in the states women probably treat you like you don t even exist, here in Thailand you are king and the girls bow down before you.

BEER BARS AND GO-GO BARS
There are basically two types of bars in Thailand, namely the air-conditioned, high class Go-Go bar and the outdoor beer bars. The Go-Go bars in Bangkok is where you can find the infamous sex shows and naked dancers. For example, the Hollywood Strip at the Nana Entertainment Plaza (across the street from the Nana hotel) has some incredible lesbian dildo fucking shows and carnival sex acts. Last time I was there I watched a girl stuffing live frogs and gold fish up her cunt, then have the frog fall out and jump around on stage. If that is not enough, at the Hot & Cold a Go-Go in Pattaya this girl stuffed a beer bottle up her butthole and then squirted the contents (beer?) out at the audience. I don t think such a girl would have a problem letting you fuck her in the ass.

If all this sounds too wide for you, then you have another option of bar hopping. The outdoor beer bars are much more tame than the Go-Go bars. There you not find any sex shows, naked girls, or wild carnival sex acts. However, what you will find at the outdoor beer bars is a ton of willing girls who specialize in the art of making men from other countries (that means you!) feel good. Yes, we re talking about Thai baby dolls who fuck and suck for a living. How much is it? How s $25 sound to you? Yes, sex is that inexpensive in the land of smiles .

BEST DRINK PRICES
If you are a drinker, the best time to visit any of the bars in Thailand is during their drink specials, called Happy Hour. Happy Hour varies from bar to bar, some bars having their hour long drink specials right when they open, while some feature a midnight or after hours special. Bars that have drink specials will post signs outside the bar indicating the time of Happy Hour; they also will have door girls standing on the street right outside the bar with signs indicating it s Happy Hour time. One of the best Happy Hours I found was in Pattaya at the Doll House (Walking street, next to Marine Bar disco). They have 30 baht (sixty five cents) drink specials nightly from 7:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Such deals are hard to resist.

MORE BARS THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE
The number of Go-Go bars and outdoor beer bars in Thailand is seemingly endless. Most of the Go-Go bars are clustered together in groups of anywhere from five to forty bars, lined up back to back, walking distance from each other. The most popular spots in Bangkok are the Nana Entertainment Plaza (across the street from the Nana hotel), the newer Clinton Plaza (Sukhumvit, up from Soi 13), Soi Cowboy (Soi 21), and the infamous Patpong (Patpong road). If you want a real tame setting with no sex shows or nudity, check out Thermae Coffee House on Sukhumvit, between Soi 13/15.

So which bars have the hottest looking babes? The Nana has the best looking women by far and features topless and bottomless Go-Go dancing at it s best. The Clinton Plaza has some pretty nice women as well. Soi Cowboy is the least popular, probably due to the fact that most of the bars have no nudity. Patpong is still popular, but has lost a lot of tourism from it s seediness and reputation for ripping off tourists. Be aware Patpong has a lot of lady-boys (i.e., transvestite) intermixed in the bars, which to me is a real turn-off. Thermae has a lot of old hags, but if you hang out, there always seems to be the perfect babe that will suck your dick raw. For 1,000 baht ($22), who can complain?

If you must have sex in the morning or early afternoon, try the Grace Coffee shop at the Grace hotel (soi 4). It s open 24 hours and always has a few women hanging out even in the late mornings and early afternoon.

THE BAR ITSELF
The bars I have mentioned in Thailand are set up for tourists, mostly male, of course. There is no cover charge to enter any bar and the dress code is very casual. For myself, I usually wear tennis shoes, shorts and a nice T-shirt. When you enter a Go-Go bar, I suggest you don t let the door girl or waitress decide for you where to sit, rather sit where you please. Before drinking at any bar, see if the there are any girls dancing on stage that catch your eye. If there are too many to even count and they are all naked, this is the bar for you. If it s so dark you can t tell if it s a guy or guy up on stage, leave. If there are only a handful of women on stage, leave. When you have bars such as the G-spot or Hollywood that pack them in like sardines, why drink at a bar that is void of women?

THE BAR FINE
Most of the bar girls are prostitutes (what did you expect, virgins?) and will be happy to go back to your hotel to fuck. The beauty of Thailand is you the bars are set up more like an escort service in which you can choose the bar girl you wish to entertain you for the evening. You can choose between the dancers, the waitresses and even the door girls. The fee to take a girl out of the bar is called the bar fine. Should a girl ask you to Pay bar for me , it means she wants you to pay the bar fine and go with you to screw in the privacy of your hotel room. Most Go-Go bars charge 500 baht ($12) for the bar fine. The price is usually (but not always) cut in about half at the outdoor beer bars. If you meet a bar girl you like and wish to take her out, just say to her, I pay bar for you. She ll take it from there.

TIPPING THE GIRL
Of course, paying the bar fine is not all you pay in Thailand. After sex, you will be expected to tip the bar girl. Most girls in Bangkok will ask between 1,000 to 2,000 baht ($22 to $44) as a tip, which you hand to the girl just as she is making her way out the door. Never pay in advance, except in the massage parlors or brothels. The most expensive girls will be the hot looking dancers at the Go-Go bars (2,000 baht and up for sex) and the best deals will be the free lance prostitutes at Thermae Coffee House. There you can easily get a girl for short time for 1,000 baht. The phrase short time means she will come over to your hotel so you can screw her and right after you cum, she will get dressed and leave. In other words, the time you have with her is rather short (as opposed to all night long).

HAVE A GREAT TRIP!
Most likely you will have the time of your life bar hopping in Thailand. If you find a bar which turns out to be boring (probably because you didn t yet find a girl you like), fret not! The number of bars is seemingly endless and it s only a matter of time and cruising around before you land a place and a girl you like. Once you find such a bar, jot down on a piece of paper the name of the bar and the location. How many times I walked into a bar that had a load of babes, then went off to check out some other bars, only to forget where the first bar I enjoyed was located. You might also ask for the telephone number of any babe you meet so if you take her once and wish to see her again, should she quit the bar unexpectedly (which happens a lot), you know how to contact her. Whatever happens, you are sure to have a great time bar hopping in Thailand and next time we will talk about bar hopping in Pattaya beach and the art of choosing the right bar girl. Until then,