Dexterhorn's How to get your Filipina to the US

THE PEACE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN IN THE PHILIPPINES

Close your eyes and imagine living in a house no bigger than a small living room. The room has two little sectioned off bedrooms, each the size of a small bathroom. Everyone sleeps on the bamboo floor on top of a blanket. Now imagine a family of eight living in this house. The entire house, including the floor is made of bamboo. (I don't have to tell what happens during monsoon season.) There's no hot or cold running water in the house.

A quick trip down to the 'swimmin' hole with an empty bucket is the way water is brought in. There are no phones in the house. The closest phone is a two-hour drive into town. While you're making your phone call you might as well pick up your mail cause they don't deliver to some of these remote areas. In town is where you'll find your food supply and other provisions for the house. If you get sick, mom will make you a home remedy of boiled bananas to treat a bleeding ulcer, heart attack, or a headache. If you haven't figured it out yet, death happens a lot in the Philippines. Poor people in areas like these depend on witch doctors and faith healers to get well. (Which is probably not any better than what we get here in the U.S.)

The kitchen and the living room are the same room. There are no ovens, stoves, or toasters to cook food, only over an open fire outside the house. Most houses have no bathrooms but some of the people make holes in the bamboo flooring so that they can take a quick pee. A deep, large hole is made in the ground beneath the flooring and every so often the hole is filled in with dirt. It's not recommended to do a #2 as there would be too much smell inside the house, that's' done in the sugar cane field. To bathe yourself you have to walk down to the swimmin' hole (With Emmy Lou) where everybody shares the same hole.

Taking a leak is easier but when you have to take a dump you're talking about going into the sugar cane field and finding a nice spot to squat. "Dropping your load" during the day is child's play except for the fact that everybody is looking and laughing at you. Nighttime is a little tougher since you can't see where you're steppin'. You'll probably come back with more doo doo on your shoes than what you left back in the field.
After "doing your business," wiping is an art in itself. Don't even DREAM about toilet paper here. The way you do your wiping is of personal preference.