When I got home for the second time I was feeling great. Imagine getting married to a girl that you only spent a week with? God, every time I think about it, it gives me the willies. But at the time it felt like it was the right thing to do. As I was unpacking from trip it hit me, and suddenly I realized that no one knew I was married here at home.

The phone call that was gonna be the MOST fun was the one to my parents. The news was a shock mostly to my mother.
                                (My telephone conversation with my parents)

Me: Hello mom, I just walked in the door, I'm home safe from my trip. 

(I can hear my mom yell to my dad, "Morty, pick up the phone, it's your son. My mom and dad would say things like that all the time. I'd always start thinking there's something that they're not telling me. Who's son was I? Are these my real parents. Like maybe I'm an adopted child, or was found on a door step or maybe my dad won me in raffle or something. When I was a kid, living at home, I always thought my name was ERIC THE GARBAGE. Cause every time I went out the front door to leave the house, my father would yell, "Eric the Garbage.
                                (And no, I never had counseling but I probably should've.)